Feeling you shouldn’t have dumped her

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Not a very festive note to end the year on, but I liked the topic of this goo Ranking, into the moments when one realises one still has feelings for their ex, for both women and their ex-boyfriends and men and their ex-girlfriends.

Demographics

Between the 5th and 7th of November 2012 1,049 members of the goo Research monitor group completed a private internet-based questionnaire. 58.8% of the sample were female, 10.2% in their teens, 14.6% in their twenties, 27.5% in their thirties, 25.1% in their forties, 11.0% in their fifties, and 11.7% aged sixty or older. Note that the score in the results refers to the relative number of votes for each option, not a percentage of the total sample.

I’ve never had the experience of this myself, but I remember one time putting my foot in it with a rather tactless email to a friend about his ex which probably put him in situation number 8 for the men. I’m not going to tell you the details, however, at least not in a space where my mother is listening!

The difference in roles in Japanese society is highlighted by comparing the female #11, a hidden high salary, to the male #12, hidden housework skills. A recent survey (which I should really translate!) highlighted that 51% of Japanese men thought basically that the woman’s place is in the kitchen.

Ranking results

Q1: What moments make you realise you still have feelings for your ex-boyfriend? (Sample size=617, female)

Rank Score
1When I feel the pain of being unable to find a kindred spirit like my ex100
2When I bump into my ex and see he’s become drop-dead gorgeous96.2
3When I realise that I hadn’t noticed that my ex was my precious emotional support83.7
4When I see my ex and his new girlfriend starting to give off the air of a good match63.0
5When I realise my ex has more good points than my current boyfriend62.0
6When I see my ex looking really happy with his new girlfriend50.5
7When I find out one of my friends has her eye on my ex49.5
8When I bump into my ex in the street and I get all excited when I talk45.7
9When I find out that my ex is really popular with the in crowd43.8
10When I find out that my ex is going up in the world31.7
11When I find out that although he hid it from me, my ex has a high salary28.8
12When I get turned down by another guy24.0
13When I realise that my ex never once got lippy with me20.7
14When I find out that although he hid it from me, my ex is from a well set-up family19.2
15When my ex took getting dumped in his stride, and still keeps in touch as before18.3

Q2: What moments make you realise you still have feelings for your ex-girlfriend? (Sample size=432, male)

Rank Score
1When I bump into my ex and see she’s become drop-dead gorgeous100
2When I feel the pain of being unable to find a kindred spirit like my ex75.0
3When I realise that I hadn’t noticed that my ex meant the world to me62.0
4When I see my ex and her new boyfriend starting to give off the air of a good match43.5
5When I realise my ex has more good points than my current girlfriend42.6
6When I bump into my ex in the street and I get all excited when I talk41.7
7When I get turned down by another girl31.5
8When I find out one of my friends has his eye on my ex30.6
9When my ex took getting dumped in her stride, and still keeps in touch as before26.9
10When I find out that my ex is really popular with the in crowd24.1
11When I see my ex looking really happy with her new boyfriend21.3
12When I find out that my ex is a star at cooking, other housework16.7
13When I get dumped by my current girlfriend15.7
14When I find out that my ex is going up in the world12.0
15When I find out that although she hid it from me, my ex has a high salary11.1
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