Following on from Sunday’s look at women’s Valentine’s Day failures, here’s goo Ranking again looking at the distinguishing features of loser men on Valentine’s Day. Yes, the original Japanese title was as harsh as that!


Over the 20th and 21st of December 2010 1,128 members of the goo Research online monitor group completed a private internet-based questionnaire. 65.4% of the sample were female, 11.9% in their teens, 17.2% in their twenties, 30.2% in their thirties, 23.2% in their forties, 10.0% in their fifties, and 7.4% aged sixty or older. Note that the score in the results refers to the relative number of votes for each option, not a percentage of the total sample.

I haven’t the slightest idea what number seven is all about! I couldn’t really make sense of the Japanese; it must be some strange ritual?

For me, it would have been singing ditties by The Smiths all day.

Ranking result

Q: What are the distinguishing features of loser men on Valentine’s Day? (Sample size=1,128)

Rank   Score
1 Mutters on about how he doesn’t like sweet stuff 100
2 Buys himself chocolates on the way home 86.7
3 Keeps checking his desk, locker 86.3
4 The cool guys shares some of their chocolates with him 84.7
5 Says he still has stuff to do and doesn’t go home 81.9
6 Is in a grumpy mood all day 71.1
7 Asks women to go fetch a male underling 70.3
8 Excessive fidgeting 67.1
9 Plays a love game on his portable games machine 59.8
10 Hangs around with guys who got chocolates 58.6


Kuwabara Mamoru · February 16, 2011 at 11:23

#7 is displaying alpha-male status in front a woman. In other words “I didn’t receive a chocolate, so I am going to demonstrate my higher social value to a woman by asking a woman to call a lower male for me.” The irony is that the women here seem to be aware the “alpha-male” is actually a loser and thus his display of higher value has only proven his loser status.

Derek · February 16, 2011 at 23:24

In #7 the ending verb 頼まれている is in passive voice, so the translation would be better rendered as ‘Being asked by a woman to go fetch another male employee’ presumably so she can give the other man chocolates. This is a standard trope that shows up in dramas, etc. A girl asks the ‘loser guy’ to meet her in private, and he gets excited thinking that she wants to give him something for Valentine’s Day. However all she wants is to ask him to help her contact his friend, the ‘cool guy’.

Ian · June 13, 2011 at 04:39

@Derek yeah that’s the one we typically see. how many way’s can you say humiliating. ?

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