Fighting words from your Japanese spouse


Here’s an excellent survey from goo Ranking, looking at what words from your spouse light the blue touchpaper, for both what wives hear from their husbands and what husbands hear from their wives.


Over the 21st and 22nd of October 2010 1,075 members of the goo Research online monitor group completed a private internet-based questionnaire. 66.3% of the sample were female, 9.9% in their teens, 18.1% in their twenties, 30.9% in their thirties, 24.7% in their forties, 8.8% in their fifties, and 7.5% aged sixty or older. Note that the score in the results refers to the relative number of votes for each option, not a percentage of the total sample.

If some of the comments don’t sound like argument starters, try reading them again in a sarcastic tone!

For me irritating my wife, it’s mostly if I say I’m tired, so she’s got me trained these days to realise I have to keep my mouth shut at these junctures.

Ranking result

Q: What comments from your husband can start an argument? (Sample size=713, female)

Rank Score
1Being a housewife is an easy life100
2Think about who puts the food on your plate87.9
3I work76.6
4It’s the wife’s job to discipline the kids74.9
5It’s me who’s tired73.8
6My mother’s a better cook70.4
7Since you’re in the house, do the housework properly64.3
8You’re a bit thick59.6
9I’m busy at work54.8
10Is that all you’ve cooked?54.6
11His wife’s always dolled up53.0
12I’ve not felt attracted to you since we married50.4
13Cook things better!43.5
14You were cuter when we were dating41.4
15Let me have Sunday off at least37.1
16Get on better with my parents!35.2
17Aren’t you frittering just too much away?31.4
18Why can’t you get any salary increase at all?26.7
19Look after the kids occasionally!24.1
20Are you working hard?23.9

Q: What comments from your wife can start an argument? (Sample size=362, male)

Rank Score
1Her husband’s salary seems to be rather good100
2Why can’t you get any salary increase at all?93.6
3Her husband’s always well turned-out91.5
4It’s me who’s tired83.0
5You’re a bit thick79.8
6It’s easy being a man and not having to do housework78.7
7But I’m working!71.3
8Are you working hard?57.4
9Off to the pub again?50.0
10It’s the husband’s job to discipline the kids44.7
11=I’ve not felt attracted to you since we married43.6
11=Can you not take a holiday?43.6
13=It’s great to be able to go wining and dining clients42.6
13=What if you refused such hard work?42.6
15Since you’re in the house, do your share of the housework41.5
16=What if you just quit your job?40.4
16=Let me have Sunday off at least40.4
18Aren’t you frittering just too much away?38.3
19“I’m busy” is not an excuse!37.2
20Are you busy at work?36.2
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  1. November 22, 2010 @ 04:09

    Haha, I need to show these rankings to my Japanese fiancé! I can imagine us fighting if we said this kind of things to each other, so we’ll have to memorize these and try to avoid saying such things after we get married next year and move together! And avoid becoming the kind of a wife/husband who you want to say such things to. 😀

    • Thor said,
      November 30, 2010 @ 12:00

      well well don’t shoot so fast my friend! come back let’s say after 12 month of being married AND living together and let us know how things have been 😉

  2. RMilner said,
    November 23, 2010 @ 07:05

    I’m trying to think what I argue about with my Japanese wife; money and sex, like most couples probably.

  3. Nanya said,
    November 24, 2010 @ 07:09

    ‘frittering’?? What?

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    […] Here’s a list of things you might not want to say if you marry a Japanese […]

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