世論 What Japan Thinks

goo Ranking recently took a look at a question that seems simple at first glace, why did you decide to marry, for both men deciding and women deciding.

Demographics

Between the 23rd and 26th of April 2010 1,187 members of the goo Research online monitor group completed a private internet-base questionnaire. 61.4% of the sample were female, 10.1% in their teens, 17.4% in their twenties, 30.9% in their thirties, 24.9% in their forties, 10.1% in their fifties, and 6.5% aged sixty or older. Note that the score in the results refers to the relative number of votes for each option, not a percentage of the total sample. Only the men in the sample answered this question.

As a cultural note, “Because he’d/she’d decided to change jobs” implies more a posting within the company to a differnt town rather than actually changing employers, and more often than not these postings are effectively mandatory and at short notice.

As another cultural note, given the number of shotgun weddings in the country I’m surprised that that reason was so low in the ranking here!
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This subject is one that seems to polarises opinions in Japanese media, with those opposed arguing along the lines of having the law in place to allow separate names will mean everyone will use it, leading to a collapse of the whole of Japanese society. However, this recent survey into separate names of husbands and wives found most in favour, but very few planning to take advantage of it.

Demographics

Between the 13th and 16th of October 2009 498 members of the CLUB BBQ free email forwarding service completed a private internet-based questionnaire. 56.6% of the sample were male, 36.7% in their twenties, 30.1% in their thirties, and 33.1% in their forties.

Separate names is by default a fact for international marriages, due to the family register system in Japan – a Japanese-only couple have one family register document for the two of them, so as the document only supports a single surname, couples must have the same official name. However, foreign residents have a separate registration system, so we and our spouses can keep our surnames, although there is a six-month window where one can easily make the change. My wife didn’t change (no particular reason, just too much hassle, I support), but when she renewed her passport she got given a double-barrel with my surname in brackets after hers.
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Today is Health and Fitness Day in Japan, but as I don’t have any interesting sports-related surveys to hand, instead I’ll present a look by goo Research, in conjunction with President magazine, at married couples’ lifestyles.

Demographics

At some undefined point in time 3,208 married members of the goo Research monitor group aged between 40 and 69 completed a private internet-based questionnaire. The sample consisted of 1,602 husbands and 1,606 wives.

My wife does various internet-based questionnaires herself, and recently she showed me one user-generated poll asking a question to the effect of “What would you think if your spouse came up behind you and gave you a hug?” The most popular answers includes yelling, starting an argument, worrying that some bad news was coming, etc. Being happy about your spouse’s expression of love came very low down the list!
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It’s Sunday, so it must be silly goo Ranking time! This time we look at what behaviour people can (or would, or did) put up with from a partner when they are going out together, but want them to stop doing once they marry, for both men putting up with women and women putting up with men.

Demographics

Between the 21st and 25th of May 2009 1,082 members of the goo Research monitor group completed a private internet-based questionnaire. 51.4% of the sample were male, 7.3% were in their teens, 16.0% in their twenties, 28.1% in their thirties, 27.9% in their forties, 10.8% in their fifties, and 9.9% aged sixty or older. Note that the score in the results refers to the relative number of votes for each option, not a percentage of the total sample. Note that this survey was for the 556 men only.

Call me old-fashioned, but being unfaithful or staying out overnight without letting me know is a great big sign, regardless of how wonderful she might be with me, that things aren’t going to last, and hoping that she’ll stop is just fulling myself.

This reminds me of a survey from two years ago on marriage deal-breakers that you might want to cross-reference with!
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Valentine’s Day may have seen a number of weddings proposed, so it is quite timely too look at this recent survey conducted by iBridge Research Plus and reported on by japan.internet.com into engagement rings and other associated matters.

Demographics

On the 9th of February 2009 300 unmarried women from the iBridge monitor group completed a private online questionnaire. 50.7% of the sample were in their twenties and 49.3% in their thirties.

As I typed the introduction paragraph I started wondering if Valentine’s Day (or the counterpart White Day) is such a significant date for proposing marriage in Japan. Indeed, that would be a very interesting topic to have a search for, when and how people proposed. The only survey I can remember doing on that topic found that a depressingly-high 30.3% of people in their twenties find a shotgun prodding them down the aisle!

We chose our engagement and wedding rings together, with wifey having the final say, of course, as I’d probably have been too stingey if I’d been let loose on my own. We bought from Exelco, who are relatively reasonable as they sell direct, and sell diamonds and the rings separately, so there’s much more freedom to get something that fits your budget.
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This week’s fun from goo Ranking is a look at the secrets of keeping that newly-wed feeling going, for both men and women.

Demographics

Between the 21th and 24th of October 2008 1,056 members of the goo Research online monitor panel completed a private internet-based questionnaire. 52.5% of the sample were female, 5.0% in their teens, 13.2% in their twenties, 28.4% in their thirties, 31.5% in their forties, 13.1% in their fifties, and 8.8% aged sixty or older. Note that the score in the results refers to the relative number of votes for each option, not a percentage of the total sample. I’m not sure if unmarried people were excluded or asked to imagine what they should do.

Looking at the men’s list, I know to my cost that number two is very, very important, but I’m not sure that number ten is really advisable as a general rule!

Talking of newly-weds, one of my Japanese colleagues recently got married, and shortly afterwards went off to a work drinking party where the long-time married guys were giving him advice. The key was to be really selfish for the first month so that the ground rules get established, as being too cooperative straight off the bat would only lead to trouble further down the line!
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Two silly rankings for the price of one today! This time goo Ranking looked at what people think they’ll have to give up once they marry, for both men and women.

Demographics

Over the 21st and 22nd of March 2008 1,036 people from the goo Research monitor group completed a private internet-based questionnaire. 50.7% were male, 7.0% in their teens, 14.7% in their twenties, 30.1% in their thirties, 27.0% in their forties, 10.9% in their fifties, and 10.2% aged sixty or over. Note that the score in the results refers to the relative number of votes for each option, not a percentage of the total sample. Only the single people were asked today’s questions.

For me, I realised that I’d have to give motorbike riding, not that that was much of a hardship in Japan as for three months it’s too cold and for four it’s far too hot to ride, and living around Osaka it’s a long ride before you get to much in the way of interesting terrain. Just about everything else I had to give up was a good thing, from beer to regular delivery pizza.

Number 5 for women is a telling one, as are the two 15s for men…

What will you or did you regret giving up for marriage?
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There seems to have been a definite theme running through the goo Rankings I’ve been publishing over the recent weeks, but let me assure you anything you may read into this is purely your own imagination! This time let’s look at what people feel worried about when they get married, the marriage blues in other words, with detailed ranking for both men and women.

Demographics

Between the 21st and 24th of December 2007 1,094 members of the goo Research monitor panel completed a private online questionnaire. 45.6% of the sample was male, 8.8% were in their teens, 15.6% in their twenties, 29.1% in their thirties, 26.8% in their forties, 10.7% in their fifties, and 9.0% aged sixty or older. Note that the score in the results refers to the relative number of votes for each option, not a percentage of the total sample.

A surprising result is that for whether work will understand, where it is men who are much more worried. This reflects two aspects of Japanese social structure; first, women are expected and often expect themself to quit either after marriage or once they have children (indeed, concerns about being a working mother was very low on the list of women’s worries), and second, salarymen are often expected to work (or drink) until the last train home, so new grooms are concerned about how they are going to be able to excuse themselves from their responsibilities.

For me it was probably a combination of a change in lifestyle (no longer being able to just lie in bed until noon, not bother shaving, then order pizza for dinner), a lack of private time to wander around the shops, and no spare money to spend on bits and pieces for my computer. However, these are of course outweighed by the benefits.
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In one of these strange and totally unscientific surveys that goo Rankings rather often conducts, we find out who the Japanese consider to be a model international couple. That is “model” as in “role model”, not “fashion model”. There is no demographic or other information for this poll, except that it was conducted over three days towards the end of November.

I believe the gist of the original Japanese question is after which international couple’s example would they like to model their relationship. One wonders about the thought processes that went on in the selection of two other-kind-of-model brides.

You may also note that all bar one seems to be a marriage with a white foreigner.

UPDATE: Following feedback from Roy, I’ve promoted (demoted?) Kumiko Goto to just “model”.
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[part 1] [part 2] [part 3]

The answer to headline is “not very much, quite frankly. And just 17 times a year.”

The Japanese division of the drug company Bayer recently published the results of a survey into Japanese married couples’ bedroom life. They interviewed 103 men and 103 women, all currently married, from each decade of life from their thirties to their sixties, excepting men in their forties, where they only had 102 people, making 823 people in total. The fieldwork was conducted between the 9th and 12th of June this year, by means of an internet questionnaire. No information is available on how the respondents were chosen.

Surprisingly, I feel, almost a third in some degree of a sexless marriage felt that sex was just too much of pain in the bum (figuratively, not literally!), much higher than the percentage who thought love had faded on either or both sides of the relationship.

Note also in Q12 and Q13 the difference between how people with experience of ED reacted versus the good intentions of those who had not.
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