Beach FAILs

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Today is the last day of my summer holidays, and although I didn’t go to the beach – indeed, I’ve never been to the beach in Japan – this survey from goo Ranking into slightly painful to behold women’s actions or behaviours one sees at the beach will perhaps be the last mention of summer on this blog for this year.

Demographics

Between the 7th and 9th of July 2013 1,096 members of the goo Research online monitor group completed a private internet-based questionnaire. 50.5% of the sample were female, 24.4% in their teens, 25.2% in their twenties, 24.8% in their thirties, and 25.6% in their forties; there was no-one older than 49 in this sample. Note that the score in the results refers to the relative number of votes for each option, not a percentage of the total sample.

This rather painfully sad to behold scene came up when I did a Flickr search;

japan resort beach party in second life

I did think of posting real women, but I’m uncomfortable with the privacy aspect and also with using cheesecake as a hit-gathering technique.
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Girlfriend beach FAIL

A bathing beauty from another eraFollowing on from last week’s boyfriend beach FAIL, goo Ranking published the other side of the story, what men do not want to see their girlfriends doing at the beach or in the pool.

Demographics

Between the 21st and 23rd of June 2010 1,137 members of the goo Research online monitor group completed a private internet-based questionnaire. 65.1% of the sample were female, 8.0% in their teens, 20.4% in their twenties, 31.2% in their thirties, 23.9% in their forties, 9.2% in their fifties, and 7.2 aged sixty or older. Note that the score in the results refers to the relative number of votes for each option, not a percentage of the total sample. In addition, this question was for males only.

I’m not really sure why her spirally body hair is such a problem, as it should have been covered by the option above. Furthermore, I’ve never really noticed any Japanese women with enough body hair to make it an issue.

And don’t ask me why doing the butterfly well is a problem for men!

Finally, not surprisingly showing off too much skin comes dead last.

The photo on the right is taken from Okinawa Soba’s excellent collection on flickr.
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Boyfriend beach FAIL

goo Ranking had another fun summer survey, this time looking at what women do not want to see their boyfriends doing at the beach or in the pool.

Demographics

Between the 21st and 23rd of June 2010 1,137 members of the goo Research online monitor group completed a private internet-based questionnaire. 65.1% of the sample were female, 8.0% in their teens, 20.4% in their twenties, 31.2% in their thirties, 23.9% in their forties, 9.2% in their fifties, and 7.2 aged sixty or older. Note that the score in the results refers to the relative number of votes for each option, not a percentage of the total sample. In addition, this question was for females only.

Talking of ogling other women on the beach, here’s an advert for a mobile gaming site:

She tuts, “Damn – stolen”.
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Japanese women prefer to look at, not swim in the sea

Did you go to the seaside last summer? graph of japanese statisticsFollowing on from the earlier survey into summer plans, iShare also took a look at beach fun.

Demographics

Between the 14th and 17th of June 2010 475 members of the CLUB BBQ free email forwarding service completed a private internet-based questionnaire. 55.4% of the sample were male, 28.6% in their twenties, 34.3% in their thirties, and 37.1% in their forties.

I did once get invited to the beach by a nubile Japanese female, but that’s a story for another day…

I don’t want to go to the beach in Japan this summer and based on photos like this one from Yuki Naotori on flickr, I have no intention of ever going. In particular, having grown up with vast, empty, clean (barring the seaweed) sandy beaches, Japanese beaches could only be an anti-climax.

Busy Japanese beach

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Beach date FAIL

An all-too-short survey this time from goo Ranking, looking at what people don’t want to see from their partner on the beach or at the pool, for both women discussing their men and men discussing their women.

Demographics

Between the 22nd and 24th of June 2009 1,180 members of the goo Research monitor group completed a private internet-based questionnaire. 58.6% of the sample were female, 10.3% were in their teens, 22.9% in their twenties, 31.5% in their thirties, 19.2% in their forties, 9.6% in their fifties, and 6.4% aged sixty or older. Note that the score in the results refers to the relative number of votes for each option, not a percentage of the total sample.

My brother recently posted a photo of himself to his blog which broke the vast majority of the rules, but to save you the anguish of having to witness that snap, instead here’s an extremely naff advert for extremely naff beachwear that appears far too often on Japanese television:

The music is by mihimaru GT, singing “Wake up and take my hand, you could have sentimental chickens”, or something like that. The person with the big hair is a professional idiot who goes by the stage name of Suzanne, and has a sister called Margarine.

Oh, and I guess the “strange sun-tanning” refers to getting a strapless tan.
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