Feeling you shouldn’t have dumped her

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Not a very festive note to end the year on, but I liked the topic of this goo Ranking, into the moments when one realises one still has feelings for their ex, for both women and their ex-boyfriends and men and their ex-girlfriends.

Demographics

Between the 5th and 7th of November 2012 1,049 members of the goo Research monitor group completed a private internet-based questionnaire. 58.8% of the sample were female, 10.2% in their teens, 14.6% in their twenties, 27.5% in their thirties, 25.1% in their forties, 11.0% in their fifties, and 11.7% aged sixty or older. Note that the score in the results refers to the relative number of votes for each option, not a percentage of the total sample.

I’ve never had the experience of this myself, but I remember one time putting my foot in it with a rather tactless email to a friend about his ex which probably put him in situation number 8 for the men. I’m not going to tell you the details, however, at least not in a space where my mother is listening!

The difference in roles in Japanese society is highlighted by comparing the female #11, a hidden high salary, to the male #12, hidden housework skills. A recent survey (which I should really translate!) highlighted that 51% of Japanese men thought basically that the woman’s place is in the kitchen.

Ranking results

Q1: What moments make you realise you still have feelings for your ex-boyfriend? (Sample size=617, female)

Rank   Score
1 When I feel the pain of being unable to find a kindred spirit like my ex 100
2 When I bump into my ex and see he’s become drop-dead gorgeous 96.2
3 When I realise that I hadn’t noticed that my ex was my precious emotional support 83.7
4 When I see my ex and his new girlfriend starting to give off the air of a good match 63.0
5 When I realise my ex has more good points than my current boyfriend 62.0
6 When I see my ex looking really happy with his new girlfriend 50.5
7 When I find out one of my friends has her eye on my ex 49.5
8 When I bump into my ex in the street and I get all excited when I talk 45.7
9 When I find out that my ex is really popular with the in crowd 43.8
10 When I find out that my ex is going up in the world 31.7
11 When I find out that although he hid it from me, my ex has a high salary 28.8
12 When I get turned down by another guy 24.0
13 When I realise that my ex never once got lippy with me 20.7
14 When I find out that although he hid it from me, my ex is from a well set-up family 19.2
15 When my ex took getting dumped in his stride, and still keeps in touch as before 18.3

Q2: What moments make you realise you still have feelings for your ex-girlfriend? (Sample size=432, male)

Rank   Score
1 When I bump into my ex and see she’s become drop-dead gorgeous 100
2 When I feel the pain of being unable to find a kindred spirit like my ex 75.0
3 When I realise that I hadn’t noticed that my ex meant the world to me 62.0
4 When I see my ex and her new boyfriend starting to give off the air of a good match 43.5
5 When I realise my ex has more good points than my current girlfriend 42.6
6 When I bump into my ex in the street and I get all excited when I talk 41.7
7 When I get turned down by another girl 31.5
8 When I find out one of my friends has his eye on my ex 30.6
9 When my ex took getting dumped in her stride, and still keeps in touch as before 26.9
10 When I find out that my ex is really popular with the in crowd 24.1
11 When I see my ex looking really happy with her new boyfriend 21.3
12 When I find out that my ex is a star at cooking, other housework 16.7
13 When I get dumped by my current girlfriend 15.7
14 When I find out that my ex is going up in the world 12.0
15 When I find out that although she hid it from me, my ex has a high salary 11.1
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