Comments on: Feeling a neglected spouse http://whatjapanthinks.com/2012/07/08/feeling-a-neglected-spouse/ From kimono to keitai; research Japanese facts and figures through translated opinion polls and surveys. Thu, 10 Apr 2014 22:29:01 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.8.2 By: Jessica http://whatjapanthinks.com/2012/07/08/feeling-a-neglected-spouse/comment-page-1/#comment-250711 Mon, 06 Aug 2012 06:32:12 +0000 http://whatjapanthinks.com/?p=5003#comment-250711 Dear Mari Fujisawa,

I personaly think I’m much to young to even say this to you but I think the best thing for you to do is stay strong.
Things will change,even if it’s a good or bad change. You just need to have hope.

]]> By: Mari Fujisawa http://whatjapanthinks.com/2012/07/08/feeling-a-neglected-spouse/comment-page-1/#comment-250693 Mon, 30 Jul 2012 13:30:56 +0000 http://whatjapanthinks.com/?p=5003#comment-250693 I can understand all ofthe above’s complains of both parties. But correct me if I’m wrong on what I am about to write.
In a nut shell, yes, my son has acted like an asshole in the three years that he got married…then came the arrival of our first born grandchild…the wife suddenly becomes proud and strong, that she decides to leave home and runs to her mother…my son now has realized all the mistakes he has caused her. Apologized to her and promised to change to make life better for them and for the sake of their daughter…now the problem is, she doesn’t want to go back and it has been three months now that she left home and two months that we’ve been deprived in seeing our grandchild. My son who is the father is being threatened that if he doesn’t leave the house so that she can move back but without him there,, all the more she will not allow him to see his own child as well…he has not seen the baby, his own daughter for two months now.
I wrote her a letter telling her to learn to forgive as she herself has had her own issues with attitude and that they both need each other’s help to change and make a go with life whether good or bad for the sake of their newborn.
Again, she threatened mynson saying that if I send another email to her, then all the more she will not show our grandchild to us…
This is such a predicament and a burden that I’m carrying with me everyday since she left last June. We are planning to bring this matter to the family court as soon as possible.
Meanwhile, I cannot understand as to why the situation has escalated to this point when all she can do is give each of them a second chance since there were good times as well.
Could it be that she wasn’t brought up being close to her father that she doesn’t have that father image in the first place that she doesn’t need a man in her life? Then why did she marry? To have a fairy tale and fantasy wedding with her prince charming and then reality sets in and she wants out?
I told her that there are so many worst scenarions among fathers being drug addicts, physically abusive, alcoholic, irresponsible, abandonment, and to name a gew…he is not any of what I’ve mentioned…
Why can’t she just forgive and start life anew and at the same time not pick on us helpless grandparents who hasn’t done anything to her and infact supported her feelings and was at her side when she came to us for advice in the past?
There are times that all I can do is just cry when I think of our poor helpless little grandchild being used as a shield for her threats that are completely unfair for the child. How will the child grow withoitna father image just like her?
And what worries me all the more is Japan is a country that gives only sole custody to the mother…i
hope that when the time comes, everything will be treated in fairness.
People make mistakes, so do couples..it’s a give and take relationship. You just don’t take and take, and make your own rules as no kne is perfect.
I do hope for this problem to be resolved soon as it’s driving me crazy..I want to hold my grandchild, I want to give her a little hug and a little kiss and feel her skin and see her laugh and dress her up and read her stories and sing her songs and hear her giggle and teach her what Christmas is.
I want to do so much that everything has been put on hold all because my son made a few mistakes? It’s as if he had an affair with another woman, because even that he didn’t do?
Can anybody give me words to comfort me? Or maybe someone with the same predicament who can share to me and what’s best to do for the meantime?

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