Why can’t Japanese stay in love?

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Here’s an interesting survey from goo Ranking, looking at the reasons why people cannot make relationships last, for both men and women.

Demographics

Between the 17th and 18th of January 2012 1,048 members of the goo Research online monitor group completed a private internet-based questionnaire. 61.6% of the sample were female, 12.3% in their teens, 15.6% in their twenties, 27.9% in their thirties, 25.8% in their forties, 9.5% in their fifties, and 8.9% in their sixties. Note that the score in the results refers to the relative number of votes for each option, not a percentage of the total sample.

“Wearing a cat on my head” is a wonderful metaphor that I’d never heard before – it reminds me of the book “The Man Who Mistook His Wife For A Hat”, a book I read a long time ago but can heartily recommend. I’ve now looked up the phrase, and not suprisingly, I took the wrong meaning of the verb in the idiom 猫をかぶってしまう, neko wo kabutte shimau. There is an archaic meaning of “to be deceived”, so it would be the Japanese equivalent of “The cat hides his claws”, thus being hypocritical.

I’ll not give you my answers at they’d reveal more about me than I want you to know!

Ranking results

Q1: Why don’t your relationships last? (Sample size=402, male)

Rank Score
1Too clingy100
2Cool off soon after my ideals don’t match the reality82.6
3I press my values onto her75.2
4I don’t listen to her71.1
5I pay too much attention to trivial things65.1
6My character is such that I tend to get bored64.4
7I rate people by their negative points62.4
8Violent mood swings61.1
9No good at expressing thanks or positive feelings55.0
10I don’t keep in close touch50.3
11=I tend to rate partners based on a checklist49.7
11=Don’t have time to meet her49.7
13I’m too engrossed in my own hobbies49.0
14Even if I don’t like them I go out with them anyway47.7
15“I wear a cat on my head” – I end up playing the hypocrite43.0
16I don’t have any self-confidence40.3
17It’s more fun going out with my male friends36.9
18I get too devoted to her36.2
19I’m not interested in love30.2
20I’m not interested in anything but love20.8

Q2: Why don’t your relationships last? (Sample size=646, female)

Rank Score
1Too clingy100
2Cool off soon after my ideals don’t match the reality87.7
3I press my values onto him82.2
4I pay too much attention to trivial things76.7
5I rate people by their negative points68.4
6My character is such that I tend to get bored67.6
7I don’t listen to him65.2
8“I wear a cat on my head” – I end up playing the hypocrite62.8
9=No good at expressing thanks or positive feelings60.9
9=Violent mood swings60.9
11Even if I don’t like them I go out with them anyway60.5
12I’m too engrossed in my own hobbies56.1
13I don’t keep in close touch55.7
14I get too devoted to him53.0
15I don’t have any self-confidence52.2
16Don’t have time to meet him46.6
17It’s more fun going out with my female friends43.9
18I’m not interested in anything but love39.5
19I’m not interested in love37.9
20I tend to rate partners based on a checklist32.4
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  1. March 19, 2012 @ 01:01

    […] Why can’t Japanese stay in love?: With birth rates at all-time lows, it’s no secret that the Japanese aren’t famous for their romantic prowess. So why don’t Japanese couples stay together or succeed? A recent poll looks at the reasons Japanese women and men say that they don’t stay together with their significant others. What breaks a Japanese relationship? [via What Japan Thinks]Mysteries of the Japanese woman: A new poll from What Japan Thinks analyzes what Japanese men find confusing about Japanese women. What is it about Japanese women that confuse men? Turns out, it’s more universal than you might think. [via What Japan Thinks] Japanese Scientists Research Dog Paws’ Heat-exchange System: Japanese scientists recently decided to investigate why dogs are able to walk bare-pawed through the snow and other cold conditions and not freeze. Next, I hope that Japanese scientists will examine why cats’ paw pads are made from the same material as their noses. [via Weird Asia News] […]