Forgiveness in Japanese relationships

This Sunday I have a pair of loosely-connected surveys, the first on what would you forgive you partner for doing, for both men forgiving women and women forgiving men. Next up is perhaps why one would forgive one’s other half, namely what aspects of him or her do they like, again both what men like about their women and what women like about their men.

Demographics

Between the 25th and 28th of July 2008 1,072 members of the goo Research online monitor panel completed a private internet-based questionnaire. 50.3% of the sample were male, 5.7% in their teens, 14.4% in their twenties, 31,0% in their thirties, 28.1% in their forties, 10.5% in their fifties, and 10.4% aged sixty or older. Note that the score in the results refers to the relative number of votes for each option, not a percentage of the total sample.

I find it interesting that for people’s other half qualities like “considerate”, “courteous” or “well-mannered” do not appear on the list.

Ranking results

Q1: What do you forgive your woman for doing with other men? (Sample size=539, men)

Rank   Score
1 Going out for a meal with a group including guys 100
2 Going to visit a guy in hospital 97.8
3 Getting visited by a guy in hospital 72.9
4 Praising a guy other than me 67.6
5 Discussing with a guy about love matters 49.8
6 A guy buying her lunch, dinner 38.3
7 Going on a trip with a group including guys 33.3
8 Hiding email sent to/from a guy 27.7
9 Hiding phone calls to/from a guy 26.8
10 Just the two of them going for a meal 25.5
11 Getting an expensive present from a guy 22.7
12 Frequent chats to a guy other than me 20.6
13 She and my guy calling each other by nicknames 20.6
14 Getting email from a guy every day 19.3
15 Sending email to a guy every day 16.2
16 Secretly going to a dating party 15.0
17 Saving mail from a guy 14.6
18 Getting phone calls from a guy every day 14.3
19 Hiding a lover 13.7
20 Making phone calls to a guy every day 12.8

Q1: What do you forgive your man for doing with other women? (Sample size=533, women)

Rank   Score
1 Going out for a meal with a group including girls 100
2 Going to visit a girl in hospital 79.3
3 Getting visited by a girl in hospital 65.7
4 Praising a girl other than me 60.3
5 Discussing with a girl about love matters 43.6
6 Him buying a girl lunch, dinner 40.9
7 Going on a trip with a group including girls 32.4
8 Just the two of them going for a meal 20.2
9 Frequent chats to a girl other than me 17.5
10 Hiding phone calls to/from a girl 17.0
11 Hiding email sent to/from a girl 16.8
12 Getting email from a girl every day 15.1
13 Secretly going to a dating party 12.7
14 Getting an expensive present from a girl 12.2
15 Sending email to a girl every day 11.4
16 She and my guy calling each other by nicknames 10.9
17 Getting phone calls from a girl every day 10.2
18 Two of them going on a trip together 9.0
19 Saving email from a girl 8.8
20 Making phone calls to a girl every day 8.5

Q2: What do you like about your woman? (Sample size=539, men)

Rank   Score
1 Gentle 100
2 Makes me feel special 71.8
3 Frank 69.2
4 Has the things I lack 60.8
5 Looks 55.1
6 Doesn’t lie 53.7
7 Holds family dear 52.0
8 Good at housework 48.5
9 Can sense the mood 44.1
10 Listens to me 40.5
11 Good head 39.6
12 Serious 38.8
13 Unrestrained 38.3
14 Has same hobbies 37.9
15 Optimistic 37.0
16 Fun 32.6
17 Child-like 32.2
18 My friends like her 30.8
19 Voice 26.9
20 Tolerant 26.4

Q2: What do you like about your man? (Sample size=533, women)

Rank   Score
1 Gentle 100
2 Makes me feel special 81.0
3 Serious 70.1
4 Has the things I lack 66.9
5 Dependable 61.7
6 Tolerant 56.6
7 Holds family dear 53.7
8 Doesn’t lie 52.4
9 Listens to me 51.4
10 Fun 48.9
11 Good head 48.2
12 Unrestrained 44.7
13 Frank 42.8
14 Can sense the mood 38.9
15 Optimistic 38.3
16 Has same hobbies 36.0
17 My friends like him 28.6
18 Looks 28.0
19 Voice 26.4
20 Wholehearted 25.7

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  • 8 Comments »

    1. gia said,

      October 13, 2008 @ 00:38

      “Tolerant” is kind of an interesting trait. Tolerant of what, exactly? All that stuff listed in the prior survey, perhaps? ;)

    2. Sana said,

      October 13, 2008 @ 04:45

      For the second lot of surveys, “頭がいい” should be translated as “intelligent”. Though if these men were being really honest, “Good head” would probably be in the list too!

    3. Randall Fitzgerald said,

      October 13, 2008 @ 06:02

      What is the world coming to when “Good head” only ranks 11th?

      ELLOELL.Quality translation.

    4. Eric said,

      October 13, 2008 @ 07:00

      This is deliciously sexist (let alone heterosexist). There’s no girl buying a guy lunch or dinner, only a guy buying a girl lunch or dinner.

    5. Jaison Williams said,

      October 13, 2008 @ 20:06

      I will say sexual dysfunction is actually quite common and can be the result of something completely innocent. Excessive fatigue and stress are two very common work oriented causes of sexual dysfunction between couples.

    6. Ken Y-N said,

      October 14, 2008 @ 10:13

      Sana and everyone else, yes I’m fully aware of the correct translation, but I was in that sort of mood last night…

    7. Tori said,

      October 17, 2008 @ 12:43

      Haha I think its funny guys find looks in the top 5 most important things about girls, but for girls a man’s looks is only number 18???

    8. Being number one among your Japanese friends » 世論 What Japan Thinks said,

      November 9, 2008 @ 09:14

      […] also didn’t repeat my previous mistake when translating number 3 […]

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