Japanese women dream of the USA
DIMSDRIVE performed internet-based research involving 5,274 people in September of last year to find out which country’s citizens would people most want to marry. It is not stated whether or not the people interviewed were single or not.
The Asia versus the West split is quite noticeable in the men, but really striking amongst the women. I previously translated statistics regarding international marriages in Japan that shows that the ideals being expressed here do not seem to be realised.
On a slight tangent, I watched the last episode of an NHK English learning program which features an English-speaking Western blonde angel that prods a clueless office worker along the path to success at her job getting a date with her transferred from New York colleague, the ideal tall, muscular, tanned, well-coiffured white executive. The angel’s job was done because the glaikit Misaki finally pulled her man.
Q: Other than Japanese, which country’s people do you think would be good to have as a partner (husband or wife)? (Sample size=5,274, free answer)
Rank Votes 1 USA 1,144 2 Korea 505 3 UK 442 4 Italy 370 5 France 344 6 Australia 218 7 Germany 203 8 China 197 9 Canada 150 10 Russia 120 Q: Other than Japanese, which country’s people do you think would be good to have as a partner (husband or wife)? (By sex, free answer)
Rank MaleN=2,468 Votes Rank FemaleN=2,806 Votes 1 USA 368 1 USA 776 2 Korea 297 2 UK 347 3 China 174 3 Italy 278 4 France 134 4 France 210 5 Russia 117 5 Korea 208 6 Thailand 99 6 Australia 145 7 UK 95 7 Germany 131 8 Italy 92 8 Canada 99 9= Taiwan 73 9 Switzerland 47 9= Australia 73 10 Spain 34 First, looking at the East-West split - or more accurately, perhaps, the caucasian-Asian split (I’m not aware of any black Western role-models in Japan) we see that for men, 36% of the total votes were for Western wives versus 26% for Asian women, favouring the West (I’m including Russia, with Maria Sharapova as the popular image of the country) by just over a third. However for women there is a marked difference; about 74% in total choose the West (over 40% for the USA alone) versus a mere 7.4% for the East, a massive ten to one vote for Europe and the USA.
Next, looking at the detailed age breakdown, it’s only in the teenage girls group that the USA fails to top the charts, losing out to France and Korea, and equal with the UK. For men in their twenties, American women are preferred over the second-placed Korean women by almost 60%, and the Chinese are back in fifth, gaining just over a third of the number of votes of the USA. However, the older men get, the stronger the charms of the Asian neighbours become, with the gap at its smallest being just a mere three votes. Similarly, for men in their forties and over, Chinese women cut the gap from a third to about a half of the USA score.
For women, as they get older (ignoring the over sixty bracket which has a very small sample size, so may be rather inaccurate) the attraction to American men only get stronger; in their twenties, Americans get just under a quarter of the vote, but by their fifties, it surpasses three in ten. Despite the charms of the disturbingly Harry Potter-like Bae Yong Joon Korean men do not seem to be particularly favoured by the middle-aged demographic.
These two main trends noted above are perhaps reflections on Japanese society as much as on foreign stereotypes. The younger men hold images of themselves as charming the sophisticated Western woman, but as they age (and visit dodgy hostess bars…) they come to realise that perhaps only Asian women could accept their typical Japanese behaviour. For women, after having been around Japanese men for many, many years, they too may come to realise that the Western stereotypes of politeness and chivalry are the only things that could satisty them in marriage.
Bonus points if you can name the people pictured…
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Ana said,
April 19, 2007 @ 05:58
to genetically mediocre white said,
I heard that I thought it was ignorant and funny as hell, hopefully nobody actually believes that….
Lee said,
April 20, 2007 @ 13:11
Ana,
Apparently Delboy believes it.
But Delboy and genetically mediocre white are probably the same poster.
Delboy said,
April 21, 2007 @ 02:14
Hello Lee,
I don’t want to continue the argument because what is the point? I’m am prepared to accept that you hold different views to me and don’t have to result to your childish tactics of belittling people, that don’t hold similar views to mine. You have a right to disagree, that is just good ‘democracy’ lol. I will console myself with the smugness that more people have expressed agreement with my views lol.
If you want sources then UN reports for world statistics and the a Book called ‘The Akans of Ghana Customs, History, Institutions and Statistics’ by Mr K Nikansa.
I wouldn’t go as far as you as say that I’m proud to British, I can see how growing up in the UK was positive for me. I proud of the fact that I grew up in a country where black people are just another minority and don’t start from a lower position than other ethnic minorities. I’m proud of the fact that I grew up in a country where there were no racial ghetto allowing me and the people my generation to mix with people of different races in social situations. I’m proud of the fact that a grew up in the worlds most tolerant nation therefore the racial tensions that exist in America and is so ingrained in the psyche of the people did materialise in the country I grew up in. Despite this I can also see negatives about growing up in the UK, but I have to say if I had been in your situation given the history and present prejudice currently in the USA, I would find very little to be proud about beyond the achievements of individuals rather than the nation in itself.
By the way Lee, I actually mentioned your theories to my Spanish friend living in the states. That is how much you comments have become apart of my life I’m mentioning you in my non-cyber conversation lol. She said you are over idealistic, deluded or completely out of touch with the lives of a section African Americans. She said she lives there and feels you make your judgements based on your own reality, therefore your views are based on a limited and bias scope.
Mediocrewhiteguy, I didn’t mean to offend you by my choice of words. But the intelligent and physical dexterity tests showed as a group, despite the exceptions of a few individuals of all races, well below Asians in intelligence and Black people in physical dexterity. I we live in a political correct world where everyone is the same and we are getting there because we now have a small world in an information so anyone can determine their own individual intelligence through hard work. But science isn’t politically correct. What I said is crap then that is down to you, If the stuff about intelligence and physicality is rubbish then look at the 100 metre dash. This is a sport that is run all over the world across every continent a thousand of times in a year and a million times over the last two decades. No non-black person has ever run under 10 seconds in the sport ever, it that just coincidence? If you want a fully explanation of these genetic facts, then I suggest you reads Gabrielle Marcotti’s book called The Italian Job where he goes into great depth about West African genetic isolation and load the documentary or book Same Difference. If you want another freaky genetic fact, then do you know there is more genetic difference between a Central, West and East African than there is between any of these groups and Europeans or Asians? You see people assume because African are the same colour they are genetically close, which they are in terms of some aspects, but in others aspects they are very different. For instances East Africans genetic code that produces lots of slow twitch muscles, meaning they are have more stamina due to their muscle make up. While West Africans have a genetic code that produces more fast twitch muscles useful for explosive speed or power. Very technical and boring, but I like to be informative.
Hey lets get simple we are way of the subject.
Delboy said,
April 21, 2007 @ 02:14
No I’m not
Lee said,
April 21, 2007 @ 09:50
Delboy,
A spanish friend telling you that I, a black american who has lived in many varied american areas and class sections (both black and white), am out of touch with my own black community and country?
I’ll let that statement stand so you can ponder the silliness of your and your friend’s statement.
Maybe you should place more credence in the opinion and experience of a black american than a “spanish friend living in the states”.
You just don’t get it, so we should stop discussing this, but some comments are so obviously offbase and dangerous that they beg for a response.
Sorry to offend you, but being British (or whatever you consider yourself) you should be familiar with verbal repartee and goodnatured humorous insults.
Example:
“I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend…. if you have one..”
– George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
“Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second… if there is one.”
– Winston Churchill, in response
Lee said,
April 21, 2007 @ 14:43
“I will console myself with the smugness that more people have expressed agreement with my views” - G.W. Bush
or - Delboy?
The success of a position, argument or debating point is not in whether one thinks that more people agree with it, but is in it’s internal consistency and accuracy, i.e. it’s approximating of the truth.
Did you grow up after Brixton, Handsworth, Tottenham race riots? What about NottingHill? If so, read more of the history of your country that you missed (or revisit some Steel Pulse or Lyndon Kwesi Johnson songs). What about axe murders and stabbings of black youth in interracial situations in england? These are problems of race in our WORLD and in US and Britain, unfortunately. Trying to pit US against Britain in this area is quite shortsighted (and ignorant) of you.
And I have to say that what you described as your lack of pride in being British and your lack of a spirit of British integration sounds like leeching off of Britain and, by the way, is at the root of problems with the Asian/muslim community. To quote a famous American: “Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country.”
Anais said,
April 25, 2007 @ 10:30
I have to say that I agree with Lee’s points more than Delboy’s. And I find it very funny that one can profess being an intelligent black man, and yet honestly think that praising another race for it’s intelligence and ascribing only the qualities of speed and physical prowess (traits that many animals have, and more so than homo sapiens to boot) as your own race’s only genetic acheivement is something to be proud of. Very sad. All it takes is an article by some starved scientist, or a couple of them, dying to pay back the interest on their loans, and there’s some black male falling for the nonsense…..
Anyway, back to the site- live and let live. True love knows no color. And if you want to date just to see what the “other” is like, well there’s nothing wrong with that either as long as you go into it with an open mind and respect.
Christine said,
May 1, 2007 @ 11:33
This is primarily addressed to Delboy and it’s LONG. If that’s an issue for you…exercise your free will and don’t read.
Delboy said:
“I know a lot of Asian women don’t date black guys because that perceives them as stupid. I’m a black and I would agree with that statement when it comes to African Americans.”
Christine’s Response:
You MUST be joking!!! Delboy, what planet are you living on to make such an UTTERLY ignorant statement like that? If you like Asian women, EXCELLENT!! But don’t put African Americans down to try to uplift yourselves in the eyes of other races…as if you’re some “special” group of human beings that have nothing wrong with you. How DARE you expect someone not to discriminate against and be prejudiced towards you (and Africans) when you have such prejudiced views about another group…let alone another BLACK group!!! But, while you’re trying to “agree” that the ignorant stereotype about stupidity applies to African Americans, let me enlighten you. I’ve heard from Asians that the Blacks in Asian countries that seem to confirm the negative stereotypes about Blacks are AFRICANS!!!!! For example, some Asians told me that the Africans their relatives and/or friends encountered in Asian countries were loud and even ran out without paying for items. I’m African American and my boyfriend is Eritrean. While he doesn’t hold these beliefs, he talks about how often Ethiopians and Eritreans often look down upon West Africans and stereotype them as loud, unattractive, and unsophisticated. Now, you and I know that isn’t applicable to all Africans or even ONLY to West Africans. After all, I’ve known those characteristics to apply to Asians, Whites, Latinos, etc. But, you see how vicious of a cycle stereotyping can be? It’s all karma. You pass along negative beliefs about a group of people and another group is passing along some about you. And these stereotypes obviously aren’t so innocent if they influence whom people find attractive or are open to dating/marrying, etc.
Delboy said:
I think ignorance really is a general American problem, but I have always had problems as a British Black male that African American culture seems to be the dominate black culture worldwide. Am I the only person in the world who feels that one of the most historically oppressed and manipulated black people in the world shouldn’t be settling the cultural agenda for more developed black societies? You think with all that money Jay-Z & 50 Cent would pay someone to help make them speak more articulately.
Christine’s Response:
It sounds like ignorance (and arrogance & envy) is YOUR problem. Actually, truth be told, it’s a HUMAN problem. You make all of these blanket statements, half-bemoaning how no Asian women will give you the time of day, and on the other hand, making absolutely ignorant and unsubstantiated statements about African Americans. And don’t talk as if some of the African Americans with money are the only ones who are inarticulate…because I think you Africans can more than share in that. ANYONE could. By the way, the average, intelligent African American does not revere 50 Cents or Jay-Z, as you seem to ASSume. And for your information, Jay-Z is Trinidadian, NOT African American. Why don’t you read, before you write. You’re going to tell me that there aren’t any poor Africans that came into money through sports, entertainment, etc, that still are “gutter” rats in action and speech? You’d be a liar if you said that wasn’t true. I have seen MANY Africans here in the US, who came from BRITIAN and/or straight from Africa that have money, maybe even have a big house and expensive car, yet are obviously very uncultured in their dress, speech, even hairstyles, etc. My point is, don’t try to act as if African Americans have a monopoly on that. And what about Oprah, who has completely changed the course of life for those South African girls when she opened the school for them? And she’s opening MORE schools!!! What about the MANY other African Americans who rally for justice in Darfur; who use their fame (Alicia Keyes) to bring attention to AIDS and other issues in Africa; who JOINED together within the US to help end apartheid in South Africa,? Do you REALLY think the average US citizen cared? As one US figurehead once said, “We don’t have friends or enemies, only interests.” But, you’d rather overlook THOSE African Americans, right? You’d rather ignore Randall Robinson and his work with TransAfrica Forum who sought to address issues affecting ALL Blacks. You haven’t learned that African Americans can be allies…but you’re rather spend your time pointing out differences…waiting for your White and Asian allies….
Oh and who are you calling “the most historically oppressed and manipulated black people?” Between you and I, that could EASILY be MOST countries on the continent of Africa! My sister-in-law is Kenyan and most of my friends in this area are Africa. And I’m incredibly Pan-African. But, people like you (including African Americans) sorely testing my love for Black people. “The most historically oppressed and manipulated black people?” Have you looked at the continent of African lately? You guys have been fighting for CENTURIES and STILL haven’t gotten it together. You bicker and fight while Westerners come in like hyenas and pick you apart. While Sierra Leone militants were chopping off limbs and raping during the war, the Westerners were sitting cozy in the capitol waiting for the diamonds. And yet AFRICANS are the shining example? Tell, me at the African Union meetings, what language do all the African leaders speak? ENGLISH!!!! You can’t even get together and have a uniform language, like Swahili, or even a monetary unit. The Europeans have had wars with each other for years, also, but were able to join together long enough to develop a monetary unit to rival the US Dollar. And please don’t brag about the British pound, because if you want to get technical…that historically belongs to the White British, not the Africans they colonialized, who seem so quick to lay claim to all things “British.”. What have the African Union come up with? Were you able to unite to stop the slaughter of millions in Rwanda? What about Darfur? No, you look, as you have been trained, to Westerners for aid. You have YET to realize the power you have united, that ALL Blacks have united, yet YOU (as in Africans, not you specifically) should be the BEACON for Black people? You, with your prejudices against other non-African (and let’s be honest, OTHER African groups), yet YOU should lead? In order to lead you must serve and the countries are too full of themselves and their pseudo-superiority over Blacks in the Diaspora, but inferiority to anyone non-Black. And you DARE talk about us being historically oppressed?!! I have some news for you… the word “colonialized” may have been used to describe what British did with Africans and others, but anyone who overlooks “words” and looks at what the “actions” say know that SLAVERY is what actually occurred in Africa and other places, too!! In those same countries, including as recent as the 1990s in South Africa, you were serving White people, working for nothing for a while, being beaten, being excluded, in your own country from places…at their beck and call. The only difference is that you weren’t taken miles away from your culture and country. You didn’t have to use codes through songs, quilting, etc. to communicate. But, the brainwashing took effect for you nevertheless, right?. A tribe in Kenya had so many mixed kids, thanks to the British soldiers raping the women, they complained to the British government (the benevolent one you speak so highly of) for reparations, which they won. And this is recent, according to my sister-in-law.. Oh, but that’s alright that you were dogs and brooding mares to them, right, because they left a good education system and taught you the proper way to drink tea, right?
I have advice for you: Get off of your high horse about African Americans and Africans. Africans who are honest enough, will state how divided Africans, Black people are, and you are contributing to it with your ignorance. We can’t even bridge the gap properly between Africans and African Americans, because we are focused on BULLSHIT, such as who is African and who isn’t. Still fighting? That’s all you know…except for which battles to pick, right? Even a Ghanaian pastor at a predominantly Ghanaian church I attended in Maryland spoke of how “We Africans are always fighting. We love to fight. That’s why people were able to come at take what they took from us.” Those were the Ghanaian pastor’s words and you sound like one of the culprits.
Now, back to who should lead, do I need to go down the list of atrocities in Africa? Do I need to talk about how most of my Nigerian ex-boyfriend’s friends in BRITIAN are children of Nigerians who STOLE money from the Nigerian people, put it in Swiss banks, fled to Britain, and now live lavishly? How this same boyfriend warned me against going to Nigeria, because he said the people was so corrupt…hustlers, as he stated? Or my other ex-Nigerian boyfriend who spoke of Nigerian “flossers” riding in six-figure cars through inhumanely poor neighborhoods/areas? Do I need to talk about my close Rwandian girl friend who watched her parents slaughtered during the genocide and was raped by guards when she tried to reclaim her property later? Do I need to talk about how my ex-Sierra Leonean boyfriend was almost captured while fleeing Sierra Leone when the fighting broke out? Do I need to talk of how my Ugandan friend’s (who is engaged to my African American guy friend, who is an MD and a lawyer…and WE’RE stupid?) parents fled Uganda during Idi Amin’s rule? Do I need to tell of African Americans being allowed into clubs in South Africa that Black South Africans aren’t even allowed in? How my brother refused to go out of loyalty to himself and Blacks in general? Do I need to tell you of my friends, labeled “Lost Boys,” who saw friends and family members die while fleeing soldiers in Sudan? Do we need to talk about the current battles going on upon the continent of Africa, such as the battle between Ethiopia and Somalia and the issues in countries neighboring Sudan? The thing that makes it worse is that, the leaders are AFRICAN!! And AFRICANS are the ones who should be SPOKESPEOPLE for all Blacks? You have to lead by example, and at this point, NO one can rightfully make that claim.
And AFRICANS should be setting the cultural agenda for more developed BLACK societies? First of all, WHICH developed Black societies are you referring to? The last time I checked, most were still considered third world. And I’ve been on TOO many sites where every country was listed except any in Africa….and AFRICANS should set the agenda? The Western world barely acknowledges you except when it wants your resources or wants to make you look like “beggars” after it’s contributed to the de-stabilization of some of you countries…with help from some of you. You have been fighting for CENTURIES!!!! And STILL can’t get it together. Yet, you sit here FLEXING, uplifting, and preening like a peacock about British culture, education, etc…but Newsflash!!! that culture is historically and predominantly WHITE, not AFRICAN!!!!! The only “standard” for education, culture, etc. you are able to lift up is BRITISH!!! Hello, Can you use Ghana, Nigeria, etc on their own merit? I would love for you too. But, it seems you don’t have confidence in using it as a measuring stick for “education,” “culture,” etc. If you can’t use African countries, original educational, cultural, etc. systems as a standard, then don’t use ANY….because that BRITISH influence you have is….BRITISH. Maybe, without the British influence, you fear you’ll be the “uncouth savages” they stereotyped you to be…although I know African cultures are way richer and cultured than that. But, it disgusts me that you’re so brainwashed that you drivel on and on about “British this, British that.” My ancestors were slaves, what’s YOUR excuse for exalting White culture? What’s YOUR excuse for discarding your traditional names for Anglicized names? What’s YOUR excuse for, despite having African leaders, still having disharmony, and so much disparity in education and health? Yes, you may try to use Ghana as a “shining” example, but you’re on a continent that is viewed as a whole, and you can’t stand alone. You may boast from sun-up to sundown about Ghana’s literacy rate, but can you say the same about the other African countries? And if you can’t, why not? Why aren’t you helping other countries more? WHO will lead? You all start battling about that and regress even more. This is by no means an attempt to “bash” Africans. Honestly. But, I’m trying to show that you can’t act as if one group is bad. I know Africa’s dirt. But, more importantly, I know it’s goodness and try to tap into that. But, it can’t be as effective with division.
If you put your ignorance aside (the ones you accuse the Asians of wielding) long enough, and really opened yourself to knowing some African Americans, who are as diverse in personalities as Africans, you’d know that your agreement with some group being stupid is…well STUPID. This goes for any group. Although it’s not widely taught and publicized, but much of the foundation of American culture is rooted in African American culture, along with others. You obviously know nothing of sociology if you haven’t realized that diverse groups of people do not live side-by-side and not merge or influence each other. There is no American culture without African Americans, White Americans, Latinos, Asians, etc. Whether you like it or not, African Americans, have and do have an influence in the world (just as Africans do), for good and for bad. We are more than rap and hip hop, which not even all African Americans love. Before those, we had JAZZ, BLUES, R&B, soul….WE created jazz and blues…which are celebrated internationally in the form of festivals. Many British artists cite influences of Marvin Gaye, Aretha Franklin, etc. A really quick side note: It really baffles me how the group that was enslaved and LABORED for hundreds of years for FREE is NOW stereotyped as lazy and the ones who sat on their butts sipping mint julep tea and fanning themselves are now considered industrious and hard-working!! Some of the women were too lazy to even nurse their own babies, but had nursing slaves (at the expense of their own children’s nourishment) nursing them. But, that’s beside the point….
Although I embrace all races, I take an active interest in issues impacting Black people worldwide. So, it really bothers me, Delboy, to read such ignorance, especially from another Black person. If the Asian women, for whatever reason, be it preference or prejudice, are too ignorant to see your gender before your race, be THANKFUL!! You don’t want someone like that. And that goes for ANY group of people. But, don’t resort to comparing yourself to another group in hopes that it will exalt you. Oh and about the skin-bleaching thing…tell the truth…it’s not just Asians. In fact, I hear it’s a growing issue in AFRICA, especially the Western part. It’s so bad, I read that some governments were trying to ban some skin-cream companies. People are even burning their skin and getting really bad skin infections as a result of using the creams. And not only are the women are doing this, but some men, as well. I can’t say how widespread, but it absolutely DOES occur. It’s occurs with Black Americans, Caribbeans, and Latinos, also. So, Blacks, contrary to what you said, DO have superiority issues with Whites, or rather, whiteness. Any group that has been enslaved or colonialized has segments of its population with a preference for lighter skin. Look at how you yourself “exalt” the mixed Blacks in Britain, as if that beauty is better than darker, non-mixed Black beauty. If non-Blacks held that same prejudiced belief as some Blacks have about themselves, I guess there wouldn’t be the mixed Blacks for you to brag about. As I stated earlier, that would make you just as brainwashed as the Asians you talk about. And before you “praise” the mixing in Britain between Blacks and non-Blacks, what is the motive behind that? I dated another Nigerian guy (yes, lots of dating) who spoke of ALL (his words) his Nigerian friends in Germany married to German women…specifically blonde-haired, blue-eyed ones. Now, I believe in interracial love and have had wonderful relationships with White (American & European), Latino, and Asian men. But, being in interracial relationships doesn’t automatically mean the motives, mentalities or relationships are “healthy.” I’ve seen interracial couples that are prejudiced against other races still. It’s like people assuming that all gay people are good and all Black people are “victims.” Being in a group doesn’t give one an automatic “pass” on human nature.
Oh and about judging African Americans…judge your ancestors. They are the ones, sitting on an entire continent of Black people, who allowed and ASSISTED Whites to come in and take people from Africa. Not only that, but in GHANA, you let them have places (holding cells) to keep the slaves before they took them across the ocean. Just as it is absolute ignorance for blaming someone for the color of their skin, it is absolutely ignorant for you to come, well after we had to fight to be treated as humans, and judge us for where we are. I don’t know about anyone else, but I don’t recall many, if any stories of Africans starting out on ships to come and retrieve any slaves from the US, South America, and the Caribbean. I don’t mean to turn this thread into a “Black debate,” but I refuse to allow you to trash African Americans because some Asian chick won’t give you the time of day.
Christine said,
May 1, 2007 @ 19:10
Douglas Drummin said:
i know with black woman its the same story if the have there stuff together they have there nose up in there air or if there struggling its always give me give me the majority of black woman have this chip on there shoulder like America owes them something i just tired of there loudness and lact of class by the way im black so dont think this is some white guy running his mouth im just tired its always something black woman need to wake up and start being humble your not the cream of the crop any more latin woman and asian women have taking over to the point you dont even want to date a black women any more why bother with the headache im sorry people im just tired of the same old thing.
First of all, you can’t even put together a basic, decent English sentence, yet you’re the type of “catch” Black women should be humbling themselves for? No thanks. Secondly, if you are encountering Black women with “chips” on their shoulders, maybe that speaks more to who you are and the character (rather than race) of women you are pursuing, rather than who they are. I’ve known people who tend to pursue superficial qualities in others (looks, money, status, etc), yet are surprised when those individuals turn out to be as equally superficial in their attitudes and action. What do people expect? So, when the person seeking those superficial qualities ends up hurt, he/she gets angry and blames an entire group when he/she should have been looking at character all along. As a woman who grew up in the Deep South, I’m no stranger to Black American men’s pursuit of “superficial” qualities in Black women, especially given the obsession of far too many Black American men with lighter-skinned Black women. Unfortunately, it still is fairly prevalent. It never fails. And now that more options have opened up, any other group of non-Black women willing to have Black men (yet you dare to have closed minds yourselves), you jump on the chance to be with them. And I say with the utmost sincerity, “More power to you,” as I’m a very strong advocate of interracial dating. In fact, some of my best relationships have been with non-Black men (particularly White and Asian men). So, love is where you find it. But, don’t stereotype Black women and put us down to substantiate why you are interested in other races of women. Because, truth be told, I think Black women can have just as much, if not MORE, grievances when it comes to Black American men.
After all, who is flooding the prison system when comparing the genders? Black men. And who are your finding at a much higher rate, matriculating into college and obtaining masters and other higher education degrees? Black women. I don’t mean this with any arrogance whatsoever, so if you take that way, it’s on you, but my friends are all either engineers, businesswomen, medical doctors, lawyers, researchers, teachers, nurses, psychiatrists, pharmacists, and other white-collar professionals. EVERY single one of them have at least a bachelors degree. And I’ve easily met over 300 hundred Black American women I could say the same about. Basically, two above-mentioned issues are two of several factors contributing the shortage of viable Black American male partners for Black American women who aren’t open to dating non-Black American men. For those of us who have a clue and seek other races and cultures, we may be able to breathe a little more. I know there are societal “factors” that contribute to the numbers in prison and college, but don’t expect us to “understand” and “respect” where you’ve been and what’s been happening to you in this country, yet you don’t afford us that same understanding and respect. I think the Black women in this country have OVER proven their loyalty to Black men LONG after Black men have disproved their loyalty to us.
And as for the women with their noses in the air, if it’s arrogance, then yes, it’s bad, and more than likely other Black women are having problems with them, also. But, chalk it up to individuals with bad attitudes, rather than a specific group’s attitude. I’ve had some Asian men express those same “stereotypes” about Asian women. Also, maybe what you consider “noses in the air” are women who have standards you don’t fit. It seems acceptable and a given that White, Asian, and even Latino women can have standards. But, I find it interesting that some Black American men act as if Black American women should settle for “anything.” It’s like you see us as less and that we shouldn’t try to have high aspirations for what we want out of men and life. Should we walk around with low self-esteems? Why should we not think well of ourselves? Sure, there are exceptions to the rule, but that is the same for ANY race of woman. And what man, worthy of being called such, does not recognize the basic womanhood of a woman? As a woman, I absolutely notice the “MAN” part before I do the race. It’s a basic instinct. Yet, as a Black man, surprisingly you haven’t seemed to realize that the nature of a WOMAN is unchanging across racial lines. Are you including your mother, aunts, and grandmother in the batch when you stereotype Black women as loud and with attitudes? If so, I’m sorry for you, but my mother wasn’t/isn’t loud or full of attitude. She’s very soft spoken and all of her daughters are, also. As for attitude, anyone can be “indignant.”
So, in short, you are in MAJOR denial if you think that Black women have a monopoly on loudness or attitude. I’ve been in stores and bars and seen the loud White, Latina, and Asian women that you obviously think don’t exist. Look at the reality shows and the behaviors of some of the women. Even in the South, I’ve seen some poorer White women physically fight in public. Yet, it seems that the stereotype just “slides’ right off. Personally, I don’t care how people act, if they want to shout for joy, talk loudly (unless in a quiet place), or talk low, that’s their business. But, you can’t “penalize” or stereotype a group for characteristics existing within the entire human race. Black women are no more or less than any other women and you only show how unintelligent you are when you make generalized statements about the character of an entire (or even most of) group of people.
Some people say that interracial dating increases understanding, tolerance, and racial harmony. But, I’m not so sure. My observation has been that being an interracial dater doesn’t seem to make one any less dysfunctional than someone who doesn’t date interracially. And what I’m finding, unfortunately, are too many people in interracial relationships, who are just as ignorant and prejudiced as some supremacists (regardless of race). I mean look at Delboy. He’s open to interracial dting, but is so incredibly prejudiced against Black Americans and even Blackness. For him, being biracial seems to be a “status” thing. How is that mentality any different from White supremacists or other racial supremacy groups that exalt a specific race? Anyway, I wish you the best in your love and pursuit of non-Black women. I’m personally glad to see more interracial dating and DEFINITELY glad that more and more Black American women are FINALLY opening their eyes and not limiting themselves to Black men. It’s okay to have preferences, but be mindful of that thin line between preference and prejudice…because the latter says more about your character and what’s in your heart way more than it ever could about someone else.
Christine said,
May 1, 2007 @ 19:29
Back to the thread…I think it’s interesting that the men rank women from Asian cultures higher as viable partners than their female counterparts rank Asian men. I wonder if this has changed substantially over the years, say 10 years ago. In addition, it would interesting to see the trend in another decade. Cultures and societies are ever evolving and change is always slow, so what is true today may not be so in later generations. After all, we have to be mindful of who’s worldviews we are looking at. People in Africa, Asia, and that part of the world have been mixing for centuries. Many of my Ethiopian friends have Greek and Arab ancestries. There was a lot of mixing between Arabs and Africans, in particular. So, people have moved and shifted and defined societies throughout time. There’s nothing new under the sun. At one point, there weren’t many White/Asian pairings in this country. Yet, that has slowly changed. As people come in contact with each other, it’s a given that at least a few will cross over racial and cultural lines.
ViolentAJ said,
May 3, 2007 @ 18:43
Delboy, too bad, nobody likes us and nobody ever will.
I am Black, and must admit that Whites of course helped to build this nation. It wasn’t all built on the backs of Blacks. Next, I must say that the situation is hopeless. All we as Blacks can do is sit back and be jealous of other races. Japanese women like any men except for Blacks. That’s a fact. Asians are the most racist people on earth.
ViolentAJ said,
May 3, 2007 @ 18:46
I love Japan, and I would really like to try dating a Japanese girl, but since I am Black my dreams will never come true. It is certainly maddening.
ViolentAJ said,
May 4, 2007 @ 01:16
Asian girls will never give a Black man that time of day. Asian women are all sluts that’ll spread at the drop of a dime for anythnig (including dogs and cats) except for Black people. I know this since I am Black. It’s the truth. Asians and Blacks mix like oil and water. All races get along except for Blacks. Why should Blacks respect non-Blacks and even try to succeed when non-Blacks will always hate us and we will never get anywhere no matter how hard we try.
Ana said,
May 4, 2007 @ 04:50
Actually I think Asian girls esp. the younger generation the ones that are like 20s and teens would like to be in a relationship with a Black man and you can’t say all of them are racists and don’t like Black men/people when you haven’t met all of them….I think more of the Asians who are racists come from the older generation that think whiter skin is more acceptable than darker skin. Yes I am a blk teen and I like asian guys and I don’t think it’s hopeless for Asians and Blacks to have a relationship and they are out there but maybe in a small number but they are out there maybe you had a bad experience and wanted to take it out on all Asians
Lee said,
May 14, 2007 @ 06:36
Seems like Delboy has run away. Or maybe he felt like he was chased away.
).
I can’t really blame him, I guess, especially after that uberlong post from christine (and I thought some of my posts were long
Hopefully, delboy, you’re finding a little time to do some objective research and reflection. And if you’re not careful, you might learn something… and who knows, you might then decide to modify your (pseudo)theories.
But then again, you know what they say about snowballs in Hades…
ｶミ増子 said,
May 17, 2007 @ 08:16
I am African American of Hispanic descent and my fiance is Japanese. He’s hot, smart, talented, and funny. We know we are perfect for each and wouldn’t have it any other way. For all the non-Japanese women seeking relationships with Japanese nationals, they should start by learning the language. Its not as hard as it looks and it opens a lot of doors whether it be in fashion, business, music, or love. Not just speaking it though. Learn to read it. Japanese nationals love it when non-Japanese take the time to learn their language and culture, and it gives you something to talk about. Also, you may want to find a Japanese person who enjoys your culture as much as you do theirs. But above all else you must remember, he’s just a man. If you can cook, you’re smart, you have a personality, you look good and know it…then there is no nationality you can’t conquer.
ｶミ増子 said,
May 17, 2007 @ 08:45
… before anyone says I am trying to use Hispanic as a status boost to my African-Americanness, the Hispanic side is Panamanian, so I am not light-skinned. Just in case any trolls or angry poster lions try to single out my zebratic post from the rest of the herd.
Ana said,
May 17, 2007 @ 09:17
Thanks ｶミ増子 I’m trying to teach myself some of the language before I go off to college which is in the fall of 08 so I’m trying to be ahead of the class!!! Thanks for the information too…I have a Japanese penpal who likes hip-hop music or whatever and she likes African-American boys and I told her I like Japanese ones ssooo maybe one day I’ll be able to meet her anyways thanks for your comment.
Delboy said,
May 18, 2007 @ 04:05
I haven’t runaway. Some of us have very important things to and can’t spend our waking hours responding to people on blogs all day. Plus I have spent the past month in Ghana. When I get time I will read through all the responses and reply accordingly.
In response to your slander, Lee of calling me a Leech. I will just counter that by telling you that I’m in the highest UK tax brand. I don’t know many species of leeches that actually give blood. Given that I pay 40% of my pay to the UK government, I can be hardly a person leeching off the state. Being a socialist at heart I don’t mind.
I have given some of your comments a skim and I will respond accordingly. Man, you Americans are really defensive, that what happens in a society with no sense of self-deprecation.
Have any of you heard of a show called Poon (probably spelled wrong) Doggs? It is a show on American TV created by a friend of mine. It’s animated show comic show about two boys from the hood living in the suburbs. I’ve tanned him for being completely unoriginal in theme. I haven’t been able to see it yet because it hasn’t got to the UK.
Lee said,
May 19, 2007 @ 11:04
You must be talking about Aaron McGruder’s ‘the Boondocks.’ The meaning of the word Boondocks being somewhat equivalent to what someone in Ghana might call “the Bush”, meaning ‘out there,’ ‘the hinterland,’ etc. I’m surprised you don’t know the name of your friend’s seminal show. I have not seen the televison show, but am familiar with the comic strip.
And my ‘leech’ comment was in response to things you said about yourself in relation to England and Ghana, similar to what I’ve heard coming from some quarters of the Pakistani and Bangladeshi community there.
BTW: (”I don’t know many species of leeches that actually give blood” ) was not a bad retort. Pretty good actually.
Delboy said,
May 25, 2007 @ 21:52
Aaron isn’t my close friend, but he is very good friends with some of my very close friends.
Remember many were trying to ridicule what I was saying that mixed raced half Black and half Asian are meant to be the best mix for the complete human. Well here is an article on the BBC about this from the scientist Alon Viz.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/london/content/articles/2007/05/25/mixedrace_feature.shtml
BBC article:
When two becomes one
According to the census there are more mixed race couples in Britain than anywhere else on Earth. Nowhere is this truer than in London. Now, an American academic claims that the children of mixed race couples will be stronger, healthier and smarter.
The term ‘mixed race’ was included in the 2001 census for the first time because ticking ‘other’ was deemed insulting. In the 1990s, the number of mixed race people grew by 75% to around 450,000 and now represents about 10% of the ethic minority population.
In a new book ‘Breeding Between the Lines’ biologist and academic, Alon Ziv, claims to produce evidence from history, academic journals and pop culture that proves mixed race individuals have significant physical and mental advantages.
Like I said then sometimes the truth is not politically correct.
thompson said,
May 27, 2007 @ 03:05
i care to have mature girl from the uk that has meekness and godfearing.
and i like her to be a doctor or a governor.this is my email id [deleted] so anyone that is interested in me should mail me now or call me on [deleted]
thompson.
Note: Please do not include email or phone numbers in these posts!
Lee said,
May 27, 2007 @ 10:37
Seems like you found an article about a crackpot scientist to support your theory. Or did your theory come from this crackpot scientist?
What’s your point with posting this link (which doesn’t detail any of the guy’s theories or scientific method)?
If you wanted to find scientists to support your idea about blacks/Africans having superior physical “genes” and other races having superior mental “genes” then you could have just picked up a book from your local library about the eugenics movement. Their theories have been thoroughly debunked, however. Did you know that?
A high intelligence British (I mean Ghanaian) person indeed.
ViolentAJ said,
May 31, 2007 @ 15:17
As a Black man, I know that all other races, especially asians, hate us. That is why I hate Japanese people.
Ana said,
June 1, 2007 @ 05:04
ViolentAJ I’m sorry that you feel that way because I know that all races don’t dislike african-americans and you haven’t met ALL OTHER RACES maybe something happened in your past to make you feel that way but totally disagree with that statement and Japanese people don’t dislike african-americans infact they do embrace our culture although it maybe a fad they still repect us so anyways I hope you have a change of heart